Talking About Weight Loss With a Loved One

Why conversations about weight with loved ones can be sensitive

Talking about weight with a family member or friend can be a delicate conversation. Even when your concern comes from care and a genuine wish for them to stay healthy, the conversation can easily be misunderstood as judgement or criticism.

Discussing a weight problem can be especially challenging due to the stigma and personal feelings often associated with the topic.

Handled poorly, it can undermine trust. Handled with empathy, it can open the door to healthier habits and stronger relationships.

Understanding the emotional impact of talking about weight

Weight is more than a number

Genetics, stress, lifestyle, and health conditions all play a role. BMI is one measure used to assess weight, but it does not capture the full picture of a person's health. It’s not just about “eating less and moving more.”

Self-esteem and mental health

A careless comment can trigger shame or anxiety. A kind approach can instead build motivation and resilience.

Support from friends can also help build motivation and resilience when facing weight-related challenges.

Common insecurities

Many people fear being judged or compared when weight or being overweight is mentioned. Keeping this in mind helps you tread gently.

Preparing before you talk about weight loss

Here are some tips to help you prepare for the conversation:

• Check your intentions. Lead with care, not criticism.
• Avoid assumptions. Base the conversation on observations, not judgements. For example, you might gently mention things you’ve noticed — like if they’ve had difficulty walking short distances or if a doctor has raised concerns about their health.
• Consider age. Take into account the person's age, as age can influence health risks, treatment options, and the best communication strategies for discussing weight.
• Pick the right time. Privacy and calm surroundings make all the difference.  It’s also important that both of you are in the right mental state — not during moments of stress, tiredness, or when emotions are already running high.

Addressing health conditions and medical concerns

When talking about weight, it’s important to remember that everyone’s health journey is unique. For some, excess weight can contribute to health conditions like high blood pressure, diabetes, or sleep apnoea. If your loved one is managing these or other health problems, a conversation about weight management should always be rooted in care and understanding.

Encourage your loved one to work with health professionals who can help create a plan tailored to their needs. This might include healthy eating habits, increased physical activity, and weight-loss medication. The goal isn’t just to lose weight, but to build a healthy lifestyle that supports long-term well-being and reduces the increased risk of related health conditions.

By focusing on overall health rather than just numbers on a scale, you can help your loved one feel supported as they make healthy changes. Remind them that small steps—like adding more movement to their week or making nutritious food choices—can have a big impact. And if medical treatment or surgery is part of their journey, reassure them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

How to talk about weight with empathy

• Use “I” statements. “I’m worried about your health” lands better than “You need to lose weight.”
• Focus on health, not appearance. Energy, sleep, and wellbeing matter more than looks.
• Offer support. Suggest shared activities instead of telling them what to do.

Approaching the conversation as health professionals do with their patients can help foster trust and openness. Both you and your loved one can benefit from open, supportive conversations about health.

What not to say when talking about weight

• Don’t compare. Comments like “Your cousin lost weight” or “You used to be fit and healthy” only cause hurt.
• Don’t guilt-trip. Shame rarely sparks lasting change — it usually backfires. For example: “If you really cared about your family, you’d lose weight” or “If you had discipline, you wouldn’t be struggling with this.” is not going to make anyone feel good about trying to make a change.
• Don’t lecture. Unsolicited advice or long speeches about diet and exercise are patronising. Phrases like “You just need more willpower” or “Everyone knows you should cut carbs” tend to shut the conversation down. Instead, practise active listening — ask open questions, give them space to share,  acknowledge that you haven’t lived their exact experience, and show you’re there to understand and support rather than instruct. Rather than lecturing, you can encourage and support your loved one in making lifestyle changes at their own pace.

Overcoming weight-related stigma

Weight-related stigma can make it even harder for people to talk about their body weight or seek support for weight loss. Many adults, especially those from diverse ethnic backgrounds, may have experienced discrimination or negative attitudes because of their weight. This can affect self esteem and make difficult conversations about health even more challenging.

If you’re supporting someone facing weight-related stigma, start by creating a safe, non-judgmental space for conversation. Use person-first language—talk about “a person with obesity” rather than “an obese person”—and focus on healthy lifestyle changes, not just weight loss. Simple conversation starters like, “How are you feeling about your health these days?” can open the door to honest discussions.

Health professionals also play a key role in breaking down stigma by treating every patient with respect and understanding. By emphasising support, healthy lifestyle changes, and self esteem, you can help your loved one feel empowered to take positive steps for their health—no matter where they’re starting from.

Encouraging healthy lifestyle choices together

• Make it less like a chore. Walks, swimming, or dancing together feel supportive, not forced. Encourage you and your loved one to find activities you both enjoy to make being active more fun. Remember that carrying around excess weight can make movement and exercise painful, which is often the reason why they may avoid it.
• Exercise together. Exercising as a team or supporting each other's exercise routines can help you stay motivated and build healthy habits.
• Increase physical activity. The benefits of increasing physical activity include improved overall health, better weight management, and reduced risk of chronic conditions.
• Cook as a family. Healthy meals are easier when everyone joins in. Following a healthy diet, and if appropriate, a reduced calorie diet, can support weight management and provide long-term health benefits.
• Be mindful of calories. Pay attention to calories in both food and drinks, as drinks can add up quickly.
• Choose healthier drinks. Limit sugary drinks and opt for water or low-calorie drinks as part of a healthy diet.
• Keep it realistic. Small, steady changes work better than extreme diets.

Eating disorder awareness and support

When discussing weight loss or weight management, it’s crucial to be mindful of the risks of eating disorders. Conditions like anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are serious health conditions that can affect both physical and mental well-being. 

If you’re concerned about a loved one, look for signs such as extreme dieting, preoccupation with food or body image, or sudden changes in eating habits. Health professionals are trained to recognise and support those at risk, offering resources and compassionate care without judgment.

Encourage healthy eating habits and a positive body image, rather than focusing solely on weight or appearance. Remind your loved one that a healthy weight is about feeling good and having energy, not fitting a certain size. If you suspect an eating disorder, gently suggest reaching out to a doctor or counselor for support. There are many resources available to help individuals and families navigate these challenges and maintain a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. 

Please note: Yazen does not diagnose or provide specialised treatment for eating disorders. If you or someone you care about may be experiencing an eating disorder, we strongly recommend seeking dedicated professional help from healthcare providers and services that specialise in this area.

Supporting children and teens in weight conversations

Talking about weight with children and teens requires extra sensitivity. Childhood obesity is a growing concern, but the focus should always be on building healthy habits and self esteem, not just losing weight. Parents and health professionals can make a big difference by encouraging healthy lifestyle changes, such as increased physical activity and healthy eating, in a positive and supportive way.

Use conversation starters that invite open dialogue, like, “What activities do you enjoy that get you moving?” or “How do you feel about the foods we eat at home?” Emphasise the importance of self-care, making healthy choices, and finding fun ways to be active as a family. Avoid negative language or comparisons, which can harm a child’s self esteem and relationship with food.

Support is key—consider resources like nutrition counseling, support groups, or working with a health professional who specialises in childhood obesity. By focusing on healthy lifestyle changes and providing encouragement, you can help children and teens develop a positive body image and maintain a healthy weight for life.

When professional help can make a difference

If your loved one’s health is at risk, suggesting professional support may help. A specialist clinic like Yazen can provide the right expertise and guidance. At Yazen, care is delivered by doctors, dietitians, YazenCoaches, physiotherapists, and psychologists — working together to support both the medical and lifestyle sides of weight management.

Professional help for treating obesity may include medicine prescribed by a doctor to support weight management, and in some cases, bariatric surgery may be considered for individuals who meet specific eligibility criteria. Treatment decisions are based on factors such as BMI, but some interventions may be appropriate even for those with lower BMIs depending on individual health risks. This approach applies to adults, young people, and children, with age-appropriate interventions and support tailored to each group.

For challenges linked to emotional eating or body image psychological support may also play an important role. Whatever the path, frame professional help as encouragement, not pressure.

FAQs: Talking about weight with loved ones

Q: How do I bring up weight without offending them?
Lead with care for their health and use gentle, respectful language.

Q: What if they get defensive?
Stay calm. Reassure them that you’re not criticising, but supporting.

Q: Should I suggest diets or exercise plans?
Ask if they’d like ideas rather than telling them what to do.

Q: How can I support without nagging?
Join in healthy activities instead of repeating reminders.

Q: What if they refuse to talk?
Respect their choice. Lead by example with your own lifestyle.

Q: How do I manage my own feelings?
Remember, their journey is theirs. Your role is to support, not control.

Leading with compassion

Conversations about weight are never easy — but with empathy, patience, and care, they can become opportunities to show love and encouragement.

At the end of the day, the most powerful thing you can offer is your unwavering support. And when professional guidance is needed, remember that a specialist team like Yazen — with doctors, dietitians, YazenCoaches, physiotherapists, and psychologists — is there to help every step of the way.